My host family problems aside, I have been a bit overwhelmed lately with my decision of what to do next. I had originally planned to go abroad again, but this time I would try teaching in a school in Thailand. No host family, my own space, a beautiful country, and a great experience (not only psychologically and emotionally but also great for my resume).
My original thought was to just stick with the same program that took me to France. Then I started to look at other programs, which has become either my potential savoir or my potential curse. Though it currently feels like the latter, I still cannot be sure yet.
After I started investigating the various programs, I began to strongly doubt the value of the Interexchange program. It is rather pricey, doesn’t pay as much as some of the others, and doesn’t even certify the participants in tefl. Then I also happened to notice that Japan pays a much higher wage. I know that Japan is more expensive but I also know from my French experience that there are certain things that I will want to buy that aren’t locally available. Online ordering would probably work better with the japanese wages. Conundrum.
Then I discovered that many of these programs are also expensive, require a face-to-face interview in an English speaking country, and have quickly approaching deadlines. Then the final consideration: do I know enough about this job and the potential stresses to commit to a year? Where exactly would I be placed? I know that could make the world of difference.
So now I have been panicking because I feel like I have to decide soon. If I choose Japan with Aeon then I will need to get my information ready and email it to a third party to submit my application (since I cannot do it on my iPad), then get to the interview in London next week. Would this be before or after I relocate to Renens, Switzerland?
The only other interview option is in Austin, Texas in March. I could go back to the states in March. I already have my ticket. Yet, I had abandoned that plan in lieu of staying in Switzerland, where I have a free place to stay and it would be cheaper to fly to Thailand (or Japan). Also, I would miss a visiter who is coming and probably won’t make an appearance before spring. Conundrum.
After worrying about all of this too much, I closed my iPad this morning and told myself that I need to forget it all for a few days. I am headed to Barcelona for the weekend and I would rather not spoil my trip by failing to appreciate this great opportunity and living in the moment. So I gathered my things and headed upstairs to get my duffel bag when my phone toppled out of the pile in my arms and fell face first on the tile floor. I have had this phone for 3 years and have dropped it many times, so I wasn’t worried. Then I turned it over and the screen shifted and popped under my fingers. Well shit. My iPhone has been an invaluable tool for navigation. Even without wifi it can help me orient myself and I can even still use google maps for directions if I pull them up in advance.
I definitely felt my resolve to focus on the positive weaken. I had even awaken this morning and made a mental promise to myself to accept the day and all of its events and to see the positive in everything. I said this as I faced a cold, rainy morning in Lyon. Yet, the rain seemed joyous to me then since I was leaving it and heading to (sunny?) Barcelona.
I hurried out of the apt, spilling my hot tea on myself and awkwardly shuffling on and off of buses and trains with my load and my umbrella, trying to keep as dry as possible. On the train to Part Dieu I made a mental list of positives in my iPhone accident:
1. I have had the phone for 3 years and only just now cracked the screen. It’s practically a grandfather iPhone now! It’s had 2 generations follow it after all, right?
2. It may help me navigate better on my own and be more self sufficient instead of relying on a fragile piece of technology.
3. It is a great lesson in attachement to material posessions.
As I told myself all of this I still felt anxious and almost tearful. Then I realized that it isn’t my iPhone breaking or my future decisions that are leaving me so upset. (Well, maybe a little.) It is instead the fact that I am on my own. I face my challenges alone and build myself up alone. There is just no one to hug me and no words of encouragement in these times. There is also no one here to share in my joys and distractions in Barcelona. Still, none of that would even make a difference if I don’t make the decision to be positive on my own. So that is what I am gonna do. And ya know what? This blog is helping.
So I ban worry for the next few days and I will laugh every time I look down at the shattered screen of my iPhone. That being said I will def try to adopt one of his abandoned children somehow (maybe someone still has an old 5 after upgrading to the 6).
Ciao!
wanderingfool2015 